What the hell are Gibbons anyway? Trekking through Thailand and Laos

"Do not go where the path may lead; go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

   We have made our way through Chiang Mai, Chiang Rai  and two treks into Laos and are currently waiting our departure from Luang Prabang to Hanoi, Vietnam. I just started to read On the Road (for the third time) by Jack Kerouac and everything about this book reflects the current attitude towards traveling I am very lucky to have the chance to be able to do. Everyday is something new, something fresh and exciting with new faces to look at everyday. Life could not possibly be better. The fact that I know traveling will eventually come to an end is making me choked up as I write this. I never want to stop.

“Our battered suitcases were piled on the sidewalk again; we had longer ways to go. But no matter, the road is life.” - Jack Kerouac

   After the elephant sanctuary plans failed in Chiang Mai, we decided we would do a full day cooking class. I got to witness Emma (Yes…Emma Goldman) cooking for the first time in my life. Please note: I have seen her barbeque a time or two, but as for cooking meals…she will be the first to tell you that it just gives her “too much anxiety” to actually do it. She will also be the first to tell you that because she did not grow up in a household with parents that cook, it really is not in her nature to do so. I can attest to this considering the Goldman Northbrook house has two things in their refrigerator; one being American cheese singles and the second...batteries.

Knew our mommy's would be so proud of the newest chefs of the family. Pad Thai? No Problem. 

   So, we embarked upon this cooking class. Our instructor was very much to our liking. He managed to transform stirring, slicing, dicing and every motion of cooking into a sexually-referenced pose that we all got dramatically into (mostly max). “Stiring your soup” was more of like "let's seduce the spoon and move the liquid around, while moving your hips like shakira." A simple, standard task of squeezing a lime was turned into more of a squeeze a lime, get your hips involved and emphasize the word "squuuuueeeezeee" in a tone of voice channeling Boy George. stir. 

Group at cooking class squeezing our limes and stirring our soups just right!

Pad Thai and Delicious homemade spring rolls!

 

    From Chiang Mai we set off for our first trek through the hill tribes of Northern Thailand. Max thankfully contacted a guide that was suggested by a travel writer in National Geographic Travel Magazine and he led us on an incredible two night, three day trek equipped with some if the best thai food we had up to this point. We stayed at two villages in this three-day excursion. Upon arriving to the first village it looked as if it was birthing season for the animals within it. Little piglets, puppies and chicks were roaming around everywhere. I keep having to be reminded of the dog infestation of fleas and ticks, which kills me considering I find it almost animal cruelty to not be able to pet these adorable, adorable pups roaming around everywhere. I did manage to pet a mother pig behind the ear, which I learned they love quite a lot. Remember this if you ever come face-to-face with a large boar...they love being scratched behind the ears. We all learn something new everyday on these travels!   

All the little piggies running around everywhere...

        

   This first village is called Ya Fu from the tribe Yahu. Because many of them have been forced to convert to christianity, many of the Lahu tribes receive government funding to ensure a good education program for the children of the village, as well as other forms of financial support. Village life is so simplistic and beautiful. Their rustic and traditional way of life is something that is so cherished by these people, but is being ultimately threatened by the convergence into christianity. The local Shaman leaders of the village (headman), is the spiritual soul of many of these tribes. He is said to speak to the spirits, ensure a good fortune for the people of the tribe, but with the convergence to christianity, the spiritual rituals of their tradition may ultimately be replaced with teachings from the bible. The second village was the Akha tribe where this converging has been a focal conflict for many of the conservation efforts of these hill tribes. Emma and i recently read a book called Catfish and Mandala where a Vietnamese family immigrated to America, fleeing from the oppressiveness of the Vietnam war. When they arrived, they were forced to convert to christianity in order to secure food and housing amongst a group of missionaries. Emma brought up the topic of this colonization debacle. Its saddening the way people are forced to lead a life in one way, regardless of whether they truely understand what is being asked of them. The family in the novel had to go to church every sunday, while they didnt speak a word of english. Seems a bit corrupt, or completely and totally corrupt/single-minded. . 

Article of Akha Convergence Troubles from the Asia Times 

   As we walked through both villages the children were always smiling, laughing and being regular, normal kids. Playing marbles looked like such an incredible time, there was no need for the newest playstation game or the distraction of what TV show was coming on later that night. In the first village, we walked by a group of three boys huddled under a shower in the front of a hut laughing uncontrollably as we walked by while shaking there naked butts. Max pointed out that one of the boys strangely looked like our cousin David...our cousins don't really like clothing. Not once did I notice a saddened face through out the three-day trek. Everything was so simple in life and so family/community-oriented, It was great to see. The kids at the second village put on a little singing performance for us and afterward, we exchanged some songs. None of us could really think of childrens songs we all knew so Alex, Emma, Max and I proceeded to sing "don't stop believin," by Journey and "Old McDonald Had a Farm." We made our performance classy, as always, and all four of us harmonized right on point. Alex's voice was comparable to a soft, lovely, flowing jungle stream...that has been attacked by a group of howler monkeys. The kids loved it despite the fact that none of them could understand a single word we were saying. After the performance a group of rowdy boys used Max and Alex as a jungle gym, while Emma and I sat in a circle and taught the little girls some games of "Miss Mary-Mack," and "Down by the Banks of the Hanky Panky."

All the little ones of the Adu village, part of the Akha Tribe of Northern Thailand

   The hiking was about three days and we e managed to make it back to Chiang Rai smelling of one-hundred percent mildeu...so we knew our journey had been successful. Of the many entertainments along the first trek was watching Emma slide, fall, slip or run-into everything she had in front of her. Going down is not a strong suit, but it kept Max, Alex and Me quite entertained through  out the journey. Our leader (or I would say Sherpa) found this very entertaining as well and proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at Emma every time we were on a decline from a mountain. 

Top of trek (day two), Emma and I with our bamboo walking sticks our Sherpa thankfully machetti'ed down for us.

Our handy guide for the day! I call him Sherpa

 

  We traveled on to Laos where we carried on to our next trekking endeavor, formally called the Gibbons Experience. Going into the Gibbons experience, I foreshadowed flocks of monkeys, hiking through the jungles to get an even closer look at the monkeys, ziplining to-and-from a group (village) of treehouses where other travelers were staying. This was not ultimately the experience that was lived out for one night and two days, but it was quite an experience nonetheless. Point one I would like to emphasize was that there were no gibbon sightings through out this journey. A minor detail the company may want to emphasize in their travel brochures. The ziplines were incredible, the longest one being about 720 meters (little less that half a mile) and we soared through the sky solo from mountain to mountain by just a harness and a wire.

   When we arrived at the treehouse after a long day of trekking and doing 9 ziplines, we realized that we were not surrounded by other treehouses, we could only zipline in a simple triangle in-and-out of our treehouse to the nearby path. Our guides left the treehouse as soon as we got there, while our new English friends, Bex and Hattie strangely asked if we would be getting a snack or some sort of meal anytime soon. The guides looked at us strangely, but fortunately agreed upon to come back with some fruit about an hour later. In summation of the actual treehouse experience, we were fed to a minimum with a overload of sticky rice for all meals and left in the treehouse unsupervised till morning. Clearly, we did was normal stupid adolescents would do and managed to find ways to spice up those triangle ziplines and make them far more dangerous than they had previously been. First it started with a night glide across (we were told no ziplining after dark). In the morning we buddied-up and traveled with two along the line. Then, after Max was a guinea pig, we all put on our harnesses backwards and went superman style over the Laos Jungle. This is probably the closest feeling a human could get to flying without a jetpack or parachute. We came to the realization that the guides were nowhere nearby and if an emergency were to occur…well, nothing would come of it.

   As we descended from the treehouse the next day, we thought we made it to the car safely for a smooth ride back, but in reality…what we got was more like an extreme off-roading experience (jungle-mud style). We all crammed into the back of a truck and had to push it up multiple hills of mud in order to get through to the road. It was also a Laos carpooling event and we managed to pick-up and drop-off multiple passengers along the way! Being muddy is a strong understatement, i have never actually seen mud this thick before.
Despite all its oddities, Gibbons ended up being really fun, Hattie and Bex were extremely entertaining and a nice addition to our foursome, but unfortunately the trip ended with bedbugs. I have never itched so badly in my entire life. Rashes were very very drastic all along my legs and all along my ass cheeks where I subjected Emma to viewing me stand on a chair in the mirror while I searched for bites to put lotion on. You just can't see your butt any other way. She got a really good view of this ass-show for about two days. Thankfully, my butt and legs have cleared up, we got some laundry done and the bed bugs (knock on wood) have gone away for the rest of the duration of our travels. (Helpful tip: if you have never put tiger balm on your butt before, I would highly advise you too even if there is no rash. It feels INCREDIBLE)!

 

The mud crew after our off-roading journey at the end of the gibbons experience. Little did I know, but under this mud was an infestation of bed bugs that were knawing away at my delicate skin. Fucking Gibbons treehouse beds!